I am also a scar holder to one traumatic birth ending in a Cesarean Section. I will tell more about that story later but now more on what I am doing here.
I decided to start this blog to share my journey down the path of the VBAC dilemma.
The dilemma? Hospital or Home
I am currently seeing an
I don’t think you can really know what was going through my mind without the story of my first birth. Believe it or not, it started as a homebirth. I labored at home for 12 hours and pushed for about 2 hours. My midwife, despite what I had though about them, made decisions for me that I can only attribute to her desire to speed things along. I planned a homebirth to avoid the unnecessary interventions so common in hospital births but found my midwife was not as patient as I had expected. Of course, I could have said no to the things that she did but I had the naive view that I could implicitly trust all midwives. She broken my water as soon as she arrived and got settled and had me start pushing before I was fully dilated. It all ended with a swollen cervix (due to pushing on an un-dilated cervix) and a transfer to the hospital. The midwife and her assistance were so concerned about leaving their cars out in the suburbs that they had me and my husband drive to the hospital alone. After arriving at the hospital, getting registered, and receiving an epidural the doctor came in. Within 15 minutes I was rushed off to the OR to have a c-section. They claim it was due to decelerating heart rate but later the OB admitted that my son was fine but could have gone down in a matter of minutes or could have lasted for hours more. They did not want to take the risk. So I ended up with a c-section and my midwife was never seen or heard from again.
To tell you the truth, I am not anti-homebirth or midwife after my situation, but I am a little fearful that if I attempt another homebirth I will end up transferring and it will all be for nothing.
So here I am now. Having to face my fears or take the risk with an